“It is imperative to draw the line between mourning the dead and a
fiesta”. This was the submission of Mr. Charles Ezeani, Chairman,
Information, Tourism and Culture Committee of the Anambra State House of
Assembly while buttressing the need for a proposed law to regulate
burial ceremonies in the state in order to curb excessive spending.
Indeed,
such a law is overdue not least in this era of recession when we are
witnessing galloping inflation and low purchasing power, yet people are
still mandated to keep up with traditional burial rites that leave many
families indebted, just to give their dead relatives a “befitting
burial”; a so-called befitting burial that is absolutely of no benefit
to the one who has passed on but only massages the ego of organisers,
the surviving relatives. According to Ezeani, the sponsor of the bill,
it “seeks to curtail outrageous demands on the families of the deceased
by traditions and customs enforced by elders without any consideration
for financial capability”, noting that the trend had led to “unhealthy
competition among families and friends, each trying by every means to
out- shine the other”.
You may have noticed that people from this
part of the country do not undertake funeral rites of their departed
ones soonest. Rather the corpse is kept in a mortuary pending when they
are ready for it. This may take as long as one year. Meanwhile,
relatives have to pay for every single day the corpse spends in the cold
room. Private mortuaries thrive here. For the poor who cannot afford
mortuary costs, the remains of their departed are ‘put underneath the
earth’. As the phrase indicates, this is not recognised as a burial by
the community. In fact, the literary translation of this is that the
deceased is in the “underground refrigerator”. The deceased person is
regarded as having been formally buried when all funeral rites are
completed. Until then, the wife of the departed one is forbidden from
going to the market (buying and selling) and attending meetings,
associating with the community more or less. Ditto the direct relations
of any deceased persons. Preparations for the funeral ceremonies begin
with gathering enough money which more often than not, involves
borrowing because of the huge amount to be expended. Among the things
required, are renovating the house or compound of the departed, giving
it a new look; or building a house where there is no ‘befitting’ one;
buying uniform cloth for the deceased’s family and extended family
members (uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, children, etc.); killing a cow
‘in honour of the dead’, hiring a live band to entertain guests,
including traditional dancers and of course, food for all and sundry.
The
burial ceremony lasts for at least a week, beginning from a Thursday.
Thursday is a wake-keep, Friday official requiem mass and dust to dust
ceremony by the church af- ter which the community’s folks commence
their own ‘mourning’ rites, comprising of women’s groups, age-grade
groups and other community societies/associations. Saturday is for
friends, associates, in-laws and other extended family members.
Sunday
is for church thanksgiving by the deceased’s family. As I indicated
earlier, the ceremony may last for a month as the family of the departed
one continues to receive ‘mourners’ of all genres every other day
–various groups, associations and personalities. These sympathisers have
to indicate in advance when they would come calling so the family can
prepare adequately for them in terms of dances, food and meat. As a mark
of a ‘befitting’ burial or better said, to show off, the bereaved
family usually kills cows for the many groups that come to sympathise
with them. A portion of the cow meat is given to each group/association
as a memento. Also, at the thanksgiving mass, the family often presents
numerous food gifts and a cow to the church during offertory in order to
be highly regarded.
The more the number of cows slaughtered for
the burial obsequies, the more esteemed the bereaved family is in the
eyes of the community. Indeed, a funeral ceremony in this part of the
country has been turned not into an occasion for ‘mourning’ but to a
festival of sorts. It is often bandied about that in this part of our
country, it is more expensive to bury a departed one than to take care
of him/her whilst alive. Although many of the sympathisers, groups and
associations do give the bereaved some money, it is often not enough to
recoup money spent for the burial ceremonies.
As a matter of fact,
most bereaved families would say they are not mourning the departed but
celebrating his/her life while on earth. But the burial ceremonies are
the same for the one who passed on at the “ripe age of 80” with numerous
children and one that departed at an ‘untimely’ time of 40 years,
leaving behind one child and wife. Meanwhile, amidst the pervasive
jubilation and jollification, the wife may be grieving inwardly with a
passive countenance. The question is, to what benefit are these
festivities to the departed. We are told that they are meant to bid the
departed spirit bye-bye. These celebrations are of little or no value to
the departed. Those of us left behind are simply having fun and
enjoying ourselves with these celebrations.
By the way, we usually
burst out into loud cries at the death of a loved one, relative, etc.
Some people even hire professional mourners to do the crying for a fee.
Death is a solemn event and there should thus be quietness in the death
chamber. What the departed needs from all ‘sympathisers’, ‘mourners’ or
‘celebrants’ is not loud lamentations or unending celebrations but
heartfelt fervent payers to the Almighty creator that he/she be guided
by His servants in his/ her journey to the luminous realm of joyful
activity and eternal peace.
Thus, the funeral rites can be classed
into two, namely, the spiritual and social aspect. The spiritual aspect
consisting mainly of prayers for the departed is what is of value to
the human spirit while the social side is mainly for those of us still
living on earth. I believe it is this aspect that the proposed law on
burials seeks to regulate. The church had introduced some reforms in the
funeral rites of its members by, for example, banning allnight
wake-keep.
It also outlawed sumptuous entertainment of its
officiating officials at funeral ceremonies, including the choir group,
stating that they should only be given drinks (non alcoholic). It can go
further by disallowing presentation of cows and other expensive gifts
at the thanksgiving services for the departed.
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